wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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