Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Houston, we have a blender
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
