thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
