did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
