GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
