life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize