You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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