Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
When did angry sex become our thing?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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