Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
