They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
