I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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