wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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