i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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