I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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