I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
