I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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