Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize