It was like getting head from an anaconda
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
there is glitter all over my balls
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
