Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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