I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
