apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
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I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
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If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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