I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
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