Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
