I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
i out mim tonsoeep
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
