never play flip cup with pint glasses
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Randomize
