giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize