I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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