your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
