If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
