I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
40s are totally the cure
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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