woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize