She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
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I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
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Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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