there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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