my soul wont recognize me after tonight
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
