my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
