if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
