any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
