is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
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