one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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