it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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