he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
