omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize