Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
