just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
