I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Bring me that man meat
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize