Are we in a gay sports bar?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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