I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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