It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
