Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
It's shark week go big or go home
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
