I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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