she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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