Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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