you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
