Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
