it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
What drink are we having for lunch?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
