I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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