marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
