I want to stick my p in your. b.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
