YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Randomize
